Shadows of the Past

This is going to be a series of life experiences that affected the way I am today. These stories are here to show how much certain events can effect person’s life especially if the person is a child.

I am not a perfect mum nor preaching to be perfect in ever aspect of your lives but there are certain things I wanna talk about.

First off a story. When I was in preschool I had a pretty terrible experience because I couldn’t tie my shoe laces when I was about five… There was a certain preschool teacher who made my life hell because of it.

Before anyone start saying “man up” or “it is the past”. Trust me I know. Everyone has their childhood traumas and it is something either needs to be solved or talked about. Mine cannot be solved but it can be talked about.

This particular experience really scared me because I was humiliated in front of everyone there and got smacked on my hand for not being able to tie someone’s apron. I cried like a baby and I truly felt worthless. By the way I was never the favourite of any of the preschool teachers because my family didn’t have much cash to spare for some “tip” for the teachers there.

Looking back as an adult it might not be a big of a deal but if you have certain experiences carved into your memory like I do then you do understand that it is something you will carry the rest of your life. As a child it did have an impact on how my confidence developed – aka very poorly.

Then I realised real confidence comes from experience not compliments.

I learned to “properly” tie my shoes and aprons when I was about 8-10 years old. Before that everytime I tied something I got told it was not how it is done. I did them my own “special” way. Instead of doing a traditional granny knot what I did was folding the two ends of my shoe laces and made them in to a “bunny ear” looped them the way you would with a granny knot and then pulled it tight.

I might just record it for you if you don’t get what I mean.

Anyway, everytime I did it that way I had to start again and again until they decided I wasn’t worth doing it so might as well just stop asking me.

So everytime I started a new thing as a teen I just backed off doing it because it felt like I wouldn’t be able to do it. Thanks to this I missed a lot of opportunities too.

As a parent I try not lose my patience when it comes to my son because it will affect him later on.

The purpose of this article is to make you realise that there are things you cannot particularly change but you don’t need to pass it on your child or on the people around you.

Got interesting story to tell? Want it to be published or just want someone to listen? You can send me an email via the contact box on the blog..

Disclaimer: I will not publish your story without your consent and I respect your privacy. I am not a professional in psychology so I cannot help you professionally I only can read your email to help you get somewhat rid of your emotional pain.

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